I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
