Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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