maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
