Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
