I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
