I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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