and she was petting her beer can
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
