Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I look better un-naked...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
