i can't believe i had my finger in that
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
