absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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