I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
