let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
