Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
