Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
