Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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