p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
