Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
