I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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