How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
