the new term for farting is butt boxing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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