I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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