she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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