Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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