Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
