GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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