I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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