oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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