I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
