so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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