This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
