GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
