Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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