Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
