we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How external is "for external use only"?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
