Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
