you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
