Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
