this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
