You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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