i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
