what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
