u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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