Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
