but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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