He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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