Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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