they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
