Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
