I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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