he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize