at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
